Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
