Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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