i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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