Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
