Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
