Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
