I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
