47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
