we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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