I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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