My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize