i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I look better un-naked...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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