Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
