I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
