Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
