Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
