a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize