Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
