4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
