i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize