So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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