does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
