Buhtt sex?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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