YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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