Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
