Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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