'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
