I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize