making cat noises will not fix the situation.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
