If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
tell me about the eggs
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
