we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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