worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
do herpes really smell.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
