I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize