Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just threw up on my dentist
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
