So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
