he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
