Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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