I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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