Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
