I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
