because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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