Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
