Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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