So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
