i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
