I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He shit in the fireplace
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
