Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
