tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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