So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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