We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
