I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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