Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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