i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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