I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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