check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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