Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize