A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
