if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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